That is Absurdity!: 2015

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Dec. 17th/Dec. 18th '2015

So, life is so strange, and it keeps getting stranger, and I didn't think life would get more complicated when I was young. I have written about my idyllic childhood before, so scroll down through "My Own Absurdity" or check the ARCHIVES for that one if you are so inclined, but suffice to say that the older I get, the stranger life becomes. I am now statistically halfway through this journey we call life, if you believe what the "Wizards of Smarts" would say is the "normal lifespan" of the typical American Male. And, if you choose to

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Dec. 13th/Dec. 14th '2015

So, here's a pop-quiz question for ya - What is perhaps the world's most talked about yet least understood subject matter? If you answered WEATHER then "DING DING DING!!" You win the prize, which is the satisfaction of knowing a somewhat interesting little piece of trivia.Congratulations! Now for the rest of you, allow me to prove my assertion. As to the "most talked about" description, give it a thought for a moment. What is the number one thing that strangers at a bus stop or in....

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Dec. 11th/Dec. 12th '2015

So, as most of you probably already know, it's usually not a joyous occasion when you are visiting a cemetery. I mean, it's not like the folks who reside there are very sociable. They usually don't offer any form of entertainment or refreshments or even a comfortable place to sit down! So if you had to sum up a visit to the cemetery in one word, that word would have to be "somber". And that's the way I suppose it is meant to be really. I mean, you wouldn't want your cemeteries to be disrespectful to their residents right? So the lack of...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Dec 8th/Dec.9th '2015

So, this entry is merely a "helpful hint" guide to would-be or aspiring petty criminals. Not that I am one mind you, but just like with anything else, you don't need to "be one to know one" as the saying goes. So anyway, hint # 1 -CRIMINALS ARE STUPID, SO DON"T BE ONE! OK, sorry for yelling, but seriously y'all, when are these dumb-dumbs gonna learn? It's the oldest hint in the book, going all the way back to the original radio days of The Shadow - "Crime does not pay!" They almost always get caught, and when they don't right away, they...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Dec 5th/Dec.6th '2015

So, if "you are what you eat", then my question to you is this - Do you wanna be SHAKESPEARE? If you are a writer (or an aspiring one), or a "blogger" such as myself, you probably either think you already are "him", or you think you suck. At least I do. When I re-read my stuff, I either think "that's pretty cool" or I think "what in the hell is this crap?" But maybe that's just me. I don't know, it's not like I live in some "writers commune" getting...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Nov.30th /Dec.1st '2015

So, if you find yourself at age 72 floating down a river in "bitterly cold" temperatures and in need of a rescue, your only hope is that the cast from a
"Jack and the Beanstalk" pantomime show are on hand to save you.WHAT!?!?!?! Yes y'all, you know the drill. It's an actual thing. A true story that is both heartwarming and absurd. Of course, we...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Nov.24th /Nov.25th '2015

So, if you are going to be attacked by a shirtless, shoe-less crazy person, it's probably best if you've got a clown or two nearby. WHAT!?!? Oh yes y'all, I can't make this kind of comedy gold up, it's an actual news article. So apparently two ladies were walking in downtown Toronto, Canada when some insane man started accosting them. He was apparently barely clothed and was jumping on cars when he suddenly turned his attention to the ladies. He shoved one of them, and then...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Nov.19th /Nov.20th '2015

So, how would you like to be known as "the No.1 town in the No.2 business"? Oh yes y'all, it's a real thing. I wouldn't B.S. you about something as important as "No.2". Seriously though, did you even know that every year the company "Cintas" holds an "America's Best Restroom Awards" contest? Well, they do, and this year's winner is a small town in Colorado called Minturn. Now I myself have...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Nov.16th /Nov.17th '2015 So, it's all PROTESTSand TERRORISM y'all. Protests and Terrorism. There is nothing else going on in the world. Nobody is just existing right? NO ONE. Nobody is being born at this moment. Nobody is dying at this moment. Nobody is working, or sleeping or eating, or going to the bathroom, or committing crimes. The world has come to a complete stop, and everyone is frozen with fear over the horrific attacks in Paris France right? PLEASE! Get over yourselves "INTERNET". Seriously! If you try to...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Nov.11th /Nov.12th '2015 So, did y'all know that "Taunting a police K-9 is a felony in Pennsylvania"? I didn't know that until today when I saw THIS ARTICLE on the "interwebs". Well, all I can say is THANK GOD I never taunted any police dogs when I was last working in Pennsylvania. Not that I have a habit of taunting ANY dogs besides my own of course. WHAT?!?! Oh yes folks, I've written about this before, and...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Nov.8th /Nov.9th '2015 So, if there is one thing I know, it is absurdity. It's pretty much my "stock and trade" as they say. (Whomever "they" are). And, if there is one one "kink" or "bent" or "perversion" or whatever term you wish to use (to describe weird sexual desires) that totally escapes my understanding, it would have to be the "foot fetish" deal. I just don't get it. I really don't y'all! I mean, as far as I know, the human foot is...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Nov.6th /Nov.7th '2015 So, did y'all see THIS ONE in your web flow lately? - "Orthorexia: An obsession with healthy eating not yet recognised by psychiatry" This article is sure to get all of the folks in the "P.C. Crowd" fired up to "total rage level". Yeah, apparently it's not permitted for anyone to point out the obvious to people in thisabsurd culture we exist and (try to) survive in. So, supposedly the word "Orthorexia" literally means “correct appetite disorder”, and I for one have a problem with that definition. And there is a...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Nov.2nd/Nov.3rd '2015 So, have you ever seen that fantastic, cheesy old SciFi flick called The Blob? If you haven't, you don't need to wait until next year's Halloween, you can watch the whole thing right now for free. But that's just a movie right? That could never really happen in "real life" could it? Well, probably not. But something similar and just as creepy could. In fact, it has! Only it isn't a...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.29th/Oct.30th'2015 So, as it turns out y'all, I'm a Professional Wrestler! YUP!! And here is the really freaky part - YOU MIGHT BE ONE TOO! Of course, you probably haven't seen me on "Pay Per View" or in your local area Arena yet, but I'm guessing it won't be too long. But first, a little background to give you the details of my career. I do most of my "work" in bed. WHAT?!?! Get your minds out of the gutter y'all! We're talking about "wrestling" here. And don't forget, you might be in the same...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.25th/Oct.26th'2015 So, call me an "Old Fart", or whichever expletive you would choose to describe me, but this damn World has become too absurdlycomplicated and stupid, and I think I was born in the wrong time. Yes folks, technology was supposed to make our lives better, and easier, and more fun. And when it comes to "entertainment", technology has delivered in spades. Technology is really, really good at putting instant "fun" right at your fingertips, that is is true. Wanna hear...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.21st/Oct.22nd'2015 So, did y'all see THIS bit of foolishness in your "interweb" browsing today? It's simply another example of theabsurdity of "higher education" these days. What passes for "education" in our nation's colleges and universities is simply yesterday's Vogue Magazine article or TMZ broadcast. There is nothing valuable to learn about the "Miss America Pageant", except to note that some people on our planet have limited interests and lots of free time. I mean, why else would someone actually spend hard earned money on...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.16th/Oct.17th'2015 So, welcome to the Third of the 2015 "Freaky Friday Editions" of My Own Absurdity. As promised, in honor of that most absurd of all American Holiday Traditions -HALLOWEEN, I will be writing about what I always write about. Namely, the absurdity of the human condition. I assume you are a human if you are reading this, otherwise I apologize and mean no harm to your species. In any event, I am about to reveal to you how if you are an American, then at least once in your life, you or someone you know, has spent perfectly good money to cause you to feel an emotion that you...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.13th/Oct.14th'2015 So, have you ever noticed that some people who become instantly or suddenly "super wealthy" seemingly overnight also become instantly retarded? YOU CAN'T USE THAT WORD!!!! Yes y'all, I realize that the term "retarded" has become toxic in this absurd culture, but let's all be realistic for a brief moment OK? Who amongst us has not heard the phrase "mentally challenged" and not immediately thought "Oh, they mean retarded" huh? The defense rests. Anyway, lets all get past that foolishness and focus on...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.11th/Oct.12th'2015 So, I have discovered the cure for loneliness y'all. WHAT?!?! I know! Can you believe it? It was really quite by accident to be honest with you. I mean, who amongst us has never at least once felt like they were all alone and/or that nobody cared right? And now I have discovered a way to put that miserable feeling to rest once and for all. But before I share this incredible, amazing discovery, I feel it necessary to give you a little background on myself which will help illustrate my...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.9th/Oct.10th'2015 So, welcome to the Second of the 2015 "Freaky Friday Editions" of My Own Absurdity. As promised, in honor of that most absurd of all American Holiday Traditions -HALLOWEEN, I will be exploring some of the more "spooky" aspects of not only our culture, but of the world at large. So this week I have decided upon an aspect of our world-wide, universal humanity which unites us all.WHAT?!?! Yes, y'all, it doesn't matter where...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.7th/Oct.8th'2015 So, there are too many people on drugs and not enough people not on drugs. There, I said it. It needed to be stated, and I realize it has been stated by others, but it needs to go "mainstream". And no, I'm not talking about MARIJUANA you "Pot Heads" as folks used to (maybe still do?) say. I'm talking about "Prescribed Drugs". The supposed replacement for genuine "Mental Health Treatment" in America today. Yup, instead of white lab-coated men with butterfly nets chasing your crazy Aunt in the front lawn , the Mental Health Care Industry basically...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.5th/Oct.6th'2015 So, did y'all see THIS news article wash up in your web surf today? I'm as sorry as I can be y'all, but I don't care if you serve them out of a food truck or a damn five star restaurant, I am not going to pay money to eat bugs. WHAT?!?! Well, obviously you didn't click the link. Some absurdcollege in Connecticut has a Food Truck selling crickets to people. What kind of slug brain gets hungry and thinks to themselves, "you know, I'm really hungry and I happen to have a few bucks on me. I think I'll go over to to that Food Vendor and buy myself a nice order of insects!"...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.3rd/Oct.4th'2015 So, welcome to the first of the 2015 "Freaky Friday Editions" of My Own Absurdity. As promised, in honor of that most absurdof all American Holiday Traditions -HALLOWEEN, I will be exploring some of the more "spooky" aspects of not only our culture, but of the world at large. So this week I have decided upon a very peculiar phenomenon that is both spooky and freaky at the same time. I am referring, of course, to the notion of Alien Abduction. WHAT?!?! I know, I know. It's weird, but hear me out y'all. I promise this will...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Oct.1st/Oct.2nd'2015 So, the "Spooky Season" is upon us. Of course, I use the term "us" rather loosely, because I don't believe "Halloween" is a worldwide phenomenon, but for those of us living in The Good Old U. S. of A., it sure is a big deal. Well, for some of us more than others obviously. But, I'll tell you this folks, without revealing too much personal information, I can share that my...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.29th/Sep.30th'2015 So, when was the last time you spoke on the phone with a Nine Year Old Girl? WHAT?!?! Well, it could happen. In fact, it DID happen. And no, I'm not a pervert you weirdos, she is my little girl! As in I helped make her, and My Wife brought her into this world, so she could grow up to be Nine years old and talk to me, HER FATHER! OK? Geeez, everything has to be all weird and stuff in this world doesn't it? Like I would actually...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.27th/Sep.28th'2015 So, apparently I have E.S.P. Y'all! WHAT?!?!I know!Can you believe it? I didn't think I did ever before, but my "Roommate" says I must have it. ("Wait, what? I thought you said you were Married?" I hear you ask.) Yes, I am. To my Wife. Only she isn't my "Roommate".WHAT?!?!? Yes Y'all, you've obviously forgotten or you are new to the absurdity here, but I am a "Road Warrior" (see my entry from Aug.30th/Aug 31st '2015 for an explanation of that). So...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.25th/Sep.26th'2015 So, everybody and every "thing" has a place where they go when the die. WHAT?!?! Well, you know what I mean. Humans have Graveyards or Crematoriums, dogs and cats in the "country" have back yards, and the "city dogs and cats" get deposited at the vet's office. Goldfish have the toilet. Farm animals have the slaughter house. Wild animals have "nature", which is loosely defined as...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.22nd/Sep.23rd'2015 So, "youth is wasted on the wrong people." No, I didn't come up with that phrase, and the link I provided (should you watch it) explains the context. But it is truth. Young people cannot possibly understand the enormity and the the profundity of that statement. Youth is fresh, and everything is new, and energy levels are high, and muscle and bone is ever growing and increasing, and every experience is an exciting revelation. Depending upon...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.21st/Sep.22nd'2015 So, So, have you ever had a "frog in your throat"? You know that old expression right? It means "temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat." according to THIS LINK on the "interwebs", and of course, "they can't put it on the internet if it isn't true" according to the State Farm Commercial, so "Bon Jour!" Anyway, according to The National Geographic Society, frogs DO come from your throat.WHAT?!?! Well....

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.19th/Sep.20th'2015 So, apparently there are some really bored "Scientists" and "Animal Researchers" in the world these days. I mean there simply must be, because there certainly are quite a few (as of yet) unanswered questions regarding various animals and their respective behaviors, and yet the latest study results released by these "Researchers" indicate that...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.17th/Sep.18th'2015 So, I'm going for a World Record Y'all! Yup! I'm gonna be in the Guinness Book of World Records. I am literally on my way to being #1 in the WORLDin my category, which is rather unfortunate I'm afraid. WHAT?!?!? Yeah, the "record" that my body is apparently trying to break all on it's own without consulting my heart, or brain, or soul and/or getting their consent is the one about "longest suffering human being with the Common Cold". I'll need to do a bit more research on the current record holder to...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.15th/Sep.16th'2015 So, every time I see an old white "Lincoln Continental" driving down the road I think its my late Mother.WHAT?!?! Yes, I know. Its weird. Welcome to my brain. That's how it works. My Mother is "no longer with us" as the polite folks say. She has "passed" as the Church folks say. You get my meaning. But when she was amongst us here, she drove a great big white Lincoln Continental, and not many folks did at the time of her passing. So, when you...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.13th/Sep.14th'2015 So, Holy Cow Y'all! I'm gonna win a "free house"!!! Well, not yet. I have to write "the essay" first. But once I do that, the house is as good as mine. And guess what else? You might could win one too!!! Oh wait a minute, there is only one "free house" available and I'm gonna enter, and clearly I will be "selected" and you won't, but don't let let that deter you. Especially since grammar is one of those rules that I know and can't seem to...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.11th/Sep.12th'2015 So, how paranoid do we expect the Elementary School Teachers in America to be? WHAT?!?!Well, why wouldn't they be paranoid when they overhear their prepubescent little pupils discussing a "gun". OH MY!!!! Everybody run for your lives!!!! Little children are talking, and some kid said the "g" word!!!! PLEASE!!! What in the world is wrong with this picture huh? Well, I will...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.10th/Sep.11th'2015 So, the Food Police are at it again y'all. WHAT?!?! Only you mean WHO?!?!? You know who. The Food police a.k.a. "The Food Nazis". The "powers that be" who try to control what types of food you (or your spawn) consume during your brief time here on Earth. They mostly exist in New York City for some odd reason. Yes, the city about which Frank Sinatra once famously sang -...

Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

Sept.8th/Sep.9th'2015 So, I realize that this is supposed to be a "humorous commentary", but sometimes life is not humorous. And, as an Educated Adult with almost 50 years of life experience under my belt, I feel not only qualified, but compelled to ask the serious questions of our time. But first, we need to "set the table" as they say. "The Stage" if you prefer. The subject matter of today's absurdity is REFUGEES. If you haven't heard...

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Monday, November 30, 2015

Monday, November 23, 2015

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Monday, November 16, 2015

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Friday, November 6, 2015

Monday, November 2, 2015

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Friday, October 16, 2015

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Friday, October 9, 2015

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Monday, October 5, 2015

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Friday, September 25, 2015

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Monday, September 14, 2015

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Friday, September 11, 2015

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Monday, September 7, 2015