Am I A Luddite?

                                                   

According to Google's AI: Luddites were 19th-century English textile workers who destroyed machinery (1811–1816) to protest wage reductions and substandard goods, not technological progress itself. HOWEVER: It goes on to elaborate - Today, the term is used broadly to describe someone opposed to new technology. So, to answer my own question - NO, I am NOT a 19th century English textile worker, nor am I opposed to new technology. Well, not fully, completely opposed. Maybe just a smidge opposed. Just a tad. Specifically, I'm opposed to the very tool I just used - Artificial Intelligence. 

Well, perhaps that's a bit of an over-simplification. I'm actually opposed to the idea that "A.I." is anywhere near "Ready for Primetime". And if you've existed for more than a minute, (and I presume you have), then you know exactly what I'm about to share -  how incredibly wrong, misinformed, ill-informed, and completely useless AI is at anything related to the basic functions of "Customer Service". The moment I hear that computerized voice say "How can I help you today?", I grimace, knowing full well that my very simple query will devolve into a 15 minute argument with a non-sentient being. 

Or at least it used to. Nowadays, I've gotten pretty good at bypassing the Borg. I've learned a few simple techniques that get my call passed on fairly quickly to a slightly less obtuse, yet fully human "Customer Service Representative" (or the ever popular- "Agent"). But, that neat trick only works on telephonic communication. And again, you don't have to be Nostradamus to predict that far too soon, there will be no such thing as voice communication. To put it bluntly - it ain't what the kids are doing. They don't talk. They TEXT. They UPLOAD. They "Doomscroll". Occasionally, they'll do something old fashioned like EMAIL. But to actually TALK? On a PHONE? What are you, CRAZY?!?! 

And young people have a nasty habit of turning into "Adults" who engage is such foolishness as "Employment" and "Purchasing Decisions" and thus drive the demand for less talk, more type. Less talk, more post. Gone are the days of "Let me speak to your Manager!". That's been replaced by "Do you know how many followers I have on Social Media?"

So now, you interact all day with companies whose business is primarily conducted online. Everything from your work to Banks and Insurance to Social Media. All from the discomfort of your phone or tablet or laptop. And if you encounter a problem? GOD HELP YOU, because the AI can't. Or worse yet - WON'T. Have a problem with your Uber account or your Driver? Good luck with all that. Scammer drained your online bank account? "How can we help you today?" Rather speak with somebody directly on the phone? Sure - "Our AI Assistant is available to answer your call, or visit our website for more options". 

And, if you've ever visited me here before, then you know all about my long standing grudge against the AI Bots of X. As an organic being, it enrages me to no end when a Non-Human accuses me of being a Non-Human. I mean, if I weren't a human, I wouldn't care! That mere fact that I'm enraged should be an indicator to the AI BOTS that I'm not a fellow traveler, right? WRONG. 

And that's my problem with technology. That's the Luddite in me. A lone voice, crying out in the wilderness - I AM AN AUTHENTIC HUMAN!. and a cold response of "We've suspended your account for inauthentic activity". Oh don't get me started. 

Anyway, if you'd like to learn more about my misadventures, scroll down for more. Otherwise, see ya in the funny papers.