THIS IS HOW IT STARTED

I should've known my Monday was gonna be a Monday. And not my "fun day". But this is what I found this morning in my email in-box. I only checked my email because "the site formally known as twitter" wouldn't let me on. And, upon trying the usual stupid stuff of retyping my password. clearing cache, clearing history, rubbing my head while patting my belly, saying a prayer, and cursing like a drunken road-rager, I decided to see if X had sent me any handy notifications. And they had. They said that at 2:48 AM, while I was sleeping. I supposedly changed my email address to some spam bucket in the UK. I honestly don't know why the Wizards of Smartz aka THE BOTS @ X would believe that I had a) suddenly moved to the UK, and b) decided to randomly change my email address to one that is impossibly long and even harder to remember than my late GrandMother's Birthday, but they did. So, I did what any unsuspecting fool would do, and followed their suggestion to "secure your account". 

And, as you might guess, in order to secure your account, you must login - WHICH I CAN'T DO. So, I try the next best thing and tell X a lie - "I forgot my password". Yup. Big fat LIE. I know my password like the back of my own hand, but of course, if it doesn't work, you are forced to lie in order to even attempt any progress whatsoever. And then I get hit with a new one - "Please enter your passcode". No, not the stupid string of jumbled letters they text you when you normally want to reset your password. The "2 Factor Authentication Passcode". 

"Ahhh", I imagine hearing you say. Sounds good and secure. Like "hack proof" and stuff. Like you're a regular James Bond with a secret code that will turn invisible in 30 seconds or self-destruct like an old episode of Mission Impossible, right? RIGHT. Except there's only one tiny, tiny little problem with that my friends. I NEVER SET UP TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION ON MY ACCOUNT! I assume "zzzc574af@fjc1g3w1oxe0.bettermail.uk." must have done that. What a Pal. Thanks Dude! For nothing! So, I got back to my email account to see if I've missed anything. And I had. At some point during my praying and cussing, The Bots @ X support decided to send me yet another email. An even friendlier one than the one before. It said - 

And if you can't read that - it basically says X has SUSPENDED MY ACCOUNT. For "Inauthentic Behaviors". Now, have no fear Dear Readers ( I like to believe you exist, so please humor me), I actually, genuinely exist and I'm 100% Grade A "Authentic". And, I do 100% Authentic Type of Things on Social Media - like post news articles, re-post other posts, and reply to posts. In a normal fashion. Only while I'm actually online. And completely without BOTS or artificial sweeteners. So, I'm guessing that my Gen X attempts at repeatedly "clicking the thing" to try and get my Social Media Morning Fix must have triggered the Wizards of Smartz at X. 

So, I sent "Support" an email explaining that a) I never set up "two factor" on my account, b) I never changed my email, and whatever number/letter we're on) whoever DID do those things must have also been really, really "inauthentic" with their behaviors, because it wasn't me and they've obviously caused me to be suspended and I really, really don't want to be suspended because all of the news these days is on X. 

And then what? NOTHING. And, if you do a Google on "what happens if your account gets suspended for no valid reason?" or "what happens if your X account gets hacked and you get suspended?", Google will provide you with the answer - NOTHING. The long answer is too long to explain, and the short answer is - I'm likely screwed out of 11 years of my life and the 4K plus followers I collected along the way. 

So, SUX TO BE ME! as the old saying goes. Now, of course, I'll continue to waste my time trying to get my account back on X. In the meantime, you can always look for my "Truth Social" account which I only resumed using today because, well, you know. And, it's pitiful. I think I have like 30 followers on there (vs the like 4,200 or so I used to have one X). But YOU CAN FIX THAT if you really want to by joining Truth and following me HERE. 

And, I'll follow you back, And, if I wasn't so lazy, I'd open a window and scream "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!". And if you got that reference, we might enjoy each other's company. If you're curious about my previous misadventures, scroll down for more. Otherwsie, see ya in the funny papers.