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May. 19th/May. 20th 2016

So,​  Nobody needs aGARAGE anymore.WHAT?!?! Well, I'm just saying...Do you park your car in your home garage? Do your parents park their car(s) in a garage? Do you knowANYONE who uses their home to "house" their car? Of course you don't. People today leave their cars outside. Cars are replaceable and not worth storing apparently. I don't make the rules y'all, I just observe and report. Humanity seems to think that cars should...

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Apr. 15th/Apr. 16th 2016

So,​  I have warned you Dear Readers before. I told you about The Scanners (See entry from: Dec. 2nd./3rd. 2015) I have also warned you that I briefly returned to my Alter-Ego of "The Road Warrior".  So, anyway what my Mind (read EARS) heard was (and I quote) - "YouCAN'T throw up at work! Randy is always watching, and he told you, and he WILL call you out on it. You candrink, but you can'tthrow up at work or heWILL let you go". Now, I ask you Dear Readers, do you think you would want anyone...

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Apr. 13th/Apr. 14th 2016

So,​   I feel like "The Road Warrior" again Y'all. For those of you who may be new to "My Own Absurdity", I used to work 'on the road' as they say in my previous employ. My new position is still kind of a travel job, but locally based. However, for the next two nights I am living out of a Hotel Room while in "Field Training". It brings back old memories. Some good, others not so much. But it's all for the best I assume. So it all feels so familiar like an old shoe. Isn't it strange how...

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Apr. 9th/Apr. 10th 2016

So,​   have you ever made or received a prank call? I honestly thought that this "pastime" was truly a thing of the past. Who answers the phone anymore? Nobody I know does. Well, I suppose many businesses still do, but only in the hopes that it will be a paying customer on the other end. But, for one unfortunate business in Minnesota the other night, answering the phone cost them thousands of dollars in damages. Yeah, the...

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Apr. 6th/Apr. 7th 2016

So,​   as many of you long time Readers already know, I have written extensively about how the race to replace human workers with A.I. and Robots will have far reaching consequences for vast numbers of people in the near future. So you can imagine my delight when I stumbled upon THIS little gem in the news today. It seems there is at least one occupation where the Robots are a big failure - Food Service. Yup! Your Robot is...

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Apr. 4th/Apr. 5th 2016

So,​   I guess I should apologize to my younger Readers for helping to create a future Monster that they must eventually deal with, but my young Daughter will one day become a "Cat Lady". YUP!!! It's honestly not entirely my fault. I mean, I am her actual, biological Father, that much is true. But my Daughter is actually a spiritual and physical twin of my late Mother. And NO, she is not a "Reincarnation" of my Mother, and not...

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Apr. 2nd/Apr. 3rd 2016

So,​   my kids ruined Netflix y'all. WHAT?!?!Well, they ruined Netflix for me anyway. Do you have a Netflix account? If so, then I will be "preaching to the choir" as they say. If you don't, then here is how it happens. When you first sign up with Netflix, they will ask you to pick from a list of genres that interest you such as "Comedy" or "Drama" or "Horror" or "Suspense" or whatever. Then they offer you a choice of various Movies and Television Series that fall...

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Mar. 31st/Apr. 1st 2016

So,​   exactly who in the hell is not "aware"?WHAT?!?! Well, if you've been alive and immersed in this absurd world we live in for more than a just a few years, then you have no doubt been exposed to the "Awareness Campaigns". You know what I mean - "Can you donate to our cause? We're trying to raise 'awareness' about breast cancer". Really? So there are actually functioning adults in this world who are not "aware" that some humans get cancer? Or you get the...

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Mar. 29th/Mar. 30th 2016

So,​   my Brain hurts y'all. Not physically like a headache, but mentally. Is there any other way to describe Brain pain? If you have a fatigued Brain, is it "all in your head"? Are you crazy? I don't know. All I know is that your Author of Absurdity has accepted a position with a new firm that requires "online training". UGH! I realize that we Humans are...

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Mar. 23rd/Mar. 24th 2016

So,​  do you have any patience? I often tell my Wife "Patience is a virtue, it's just not one of mine." It's true y'all. I have no patience. I hate waiting around and/or being on "standby". It drives me insane. So that lead me to wonder how all of this new technology which has proliferated throughout the world has improved "wait times" for folks like me.  And the conclusion I have drawn is this... 

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Mar. 16th/Mar. 17th 2016

So,​  I think it goes without saying that some cities and town have less crime than others. Obviously, the large metropolitan areas with vast populations have more crime and thus more police officers on hand to deal with it. But what about the small towns with just a local contingent of officers? What kinds of crimes and offenses do they have to deal with? Well, in Franklin, Tennessee, the brave men (and women) in blue had to apprehend a...

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Mar. 12th/Mar. 13th 2016

So,​  if you had to pick a location or a situation where you might feel the most vulnerable and unsafe, where would it be? A dark alley? A bad neighborhood in the middle of the night? A foreign country where you don't know their language and they don't know yours? I suppose the choices are nearly endless. As we progress through this life, there will always be certain times and situations when we may feel a bit less secure than others. But, if there is one place in the world where you'd expect to feel completely safe and secure it would have to be in your own home, am I right? And, for even more privacy and security, you might...

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Feb. 29th/Mar. 1st 2016

So,​   are you old enough to remember renting movies in VHS format at a Video Store like "Blockbuster"? If so, then you may remember that overwhelming feeling you got when after after looking at over 10,000 VHS tape-box covers trying to find something to watch that evening, you exclaimed  "there's nothing good". The comedian Louie Anderson even did a routine about it. Too many choices tend to lead to indecision. It's a part of the human condition. I remember when our son was very young. My wife used to make the mistake of asking him "what would you like for dinner?" every evening. This, of course, always led to our son asking for things that we either didn't have on hand, or weren't fully prepared to make that evening (read Fast Food ala McDonald's). So, I...

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Feb. 26th/Feb. 27th 2016

So,​   have you ever been issued a speeding ticket? It's not a very pleasant "gift" to be sure, but if you drive long enough, it's bound to happen to you sooner or later. So what did you do when you got the ticket? Did you simply mail in your payment, or did you actually go to court to fight the charges? I've personally done it both ways, and I can assure you that most of the time, it's best to just pay off the fine and move on with your life. I mean, even if you feel one hundred percent innocent of the charge, by the time you take time off from work...

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Feb. 24th/Feb. 25th 2016

So,​  what's in your gullet? Yes, I know that's a blatant ripoff of that infamous credit card commercial, but it's a serious question. Are you worried about your weight? If so, you're not alone. America is obsessed with weight and size. She's too heavy, he's too big, they're too large.....Enough 

already. Can we just be honest here? I realize that honesty "is such a lonely word" as Billy Joel so famously crooned, but nobody wants to say the truth about the matter. So, allow your humbleAuthor of Absurdity to be the Arbiter of Truth. I'll weather the arrows and daggers for you, so you can just silently agree. The truth of the matter is that...

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Feb. 22nd/Feb. 23rd 2016

So,​  wouldn't it be nice if life was like a computer or video game? If you've ever played games on a PC or a console, then you already know how the game makers handle certain "inconvenient truths" about real life. For those of you who don't, however, here is how these things always go. In PC/Console games, you (or the character you are playing as) are able to absorb an enormous amount of physical abuse and damage without dying. Multiple gunshot wounds, hacks with large blades, giant boulders (or worse) thrown at you; the works. In real life, of course, any single one of these events would...

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Feb. 19th/Feb. 20th 2016

So,​  it's all about  hy·poc·ri·sy these days. For those of you who need a proper definition, here it is - " the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform; pretense." And that is according toGoogle. And they can't put it on the interwebs if it isn't true right? So anyway, there is too much hypocrisy and too many hypocrites in our world. It's everywhere you look. The latest example is...

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Feb. 15th/Feb. 16th 2016

So,​    I find it offensive when people are offended. "I'm offended, you're offended, she's offended, he's offended, wouldn't you like to be offended too?" (Sung to the tune of the old Dr. Pepper commercial). People don't acceptoffense, they "take it". They even say so! "I take offense to that!" they will exclaim. If I don't offer to give offense and they take it anyway, isn't that called stealing? Is observation of theabsurdity of the human condition offensive? If so I am offensive. Is absurdityin general offensive? Guilty as charged. How about...

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Feb. 11th/Feb. 12th 2016

So,​   I'm a bit confused y'all. A woman just came on the television and said she was "Your face of Fox 43". I assume she was speaking to me, as I was the only one in the room watching at the moment. Anyway, if she is speaking to me, and she tells me she is "your face face of Fox 43", isn't that supposed to mean that, in fact,  she is MY FACE of Fox 43? And, if that is the case, how in the hell did my face wind up on Fox 43?!?!?! I don't recall anyone from TV asking permission to borrow my face. I mean,...

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Feb. 6th/Feb. 7th 2016

So,​  I don't know, I wasn't thinking about that just now. WHAT?!?!Have you ever had one of those occasions? Somebody asks you a random question 'out of the blue' that you would would ordinarily know instantly, but you weren't "thinking about that" at that moment? "What is the name of the car insurance company with the commercial featuring the Asian girl talking about her car named 'Brad'"? Yeah, I've seen the commercial ten thousand times, and if I had been thinking about car insurance, I might have paid attention. But I didn't, so I don't know, because I wasn't...  

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Feb. 3rd/Feb. 4th 2016

So,​    did you ever get into one of those moods where you have all the time in the world to do something productive, and you desperately feel that you should do something productive, but you can't seem to get started on anything, so you end up doing a whole lot of nothing? Welcome to my today. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I have the day off from work. I could clean the house. I could take a nap. I could begin my long awaited masterpiece blog entry. Instead, I find myself writing about... 

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Thatisabsurdity.com - Humorous Observations

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Feb. 1st/Feb. 2nd 2016

So,​   I don't have enough money to be a Hoarder. AWHAT?!?! A Hoarder. If you haven't seen the show on TV then do a web search. But, suffice to say that it must cost a lot of money to be one. A hoarder is defined HEREfor any of you who didn't receive your "clue book". Anyway, I can't even imagine living amongst such filth; but even more puzzling to me is how  these type of people afford to accrue such a mess? What kind of job, or inheritance, or "lottery win" must one acquire to be able to...

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Jan. 20th/Jan. 21st  '2016

So,​   I have been hesitant to write anything lately because I wanted to wait for inspiration. (All those fellow bloggers and writers say "AYE!") Anyway, I found it now and here it is. I have the answer to our economic woes (occurring worldwide), and I hear no official candidates for U.S. President saying it specifically, so I will.STOP MAKING NEW LAWS AND REGULATIONS! That'sStep #1. We have approximately 10 billion rules and regulations currently strangling small businesses from 

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Jan. 14th/Jan. 15th  '2016

So,​   I think it goes without saying that I am a writer. I cannot, however, claim that I am a "Professional Writer" because the term "Professional" denotes being paid money for your craft. Nobody pays me to write, they only "like me" on NIUME or on TWITTER, but that's OK. It's cool. Maybe one day I will be discovered for my "mad skills". In any event, my young daughter has all the signs of becoming a "Professional Writer", and I am now prepared to offer to you all her Professional Debut. I KNOW!!!   So exciting....Anyway, I will now re-type her original work as it was...

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Jan. 12th/Jan. 13th  '2016

So,​   toilet paper grows on trees. It's the only viable explanation I can come up with to understand my family's situation. I mean, we all act like toilet paper is free and abundantly growing on the trees in our yard, otherwise we wouldn't go through so many rolls so quickly. But it's astonishing. Since our son is home from college on break, there are currently four of us living in the house. We possess three bathrooms, one of which is located downstairs. And without going into graphic detail, let's just say that my son and I...

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